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I Need More Grain

After learning how much I’ve spent on beer, and deciding to mend my wicked ways, I’ve turned to my childhood favorite, Ovaltine. But I think I must have had a bit too much last night after waking in the middle of the night with the idea for an all-girl band.
I had a clear picture in my mind of how they would look, and the songs they would record; I even saw their names through my healthy drink-induced stupor.
From left to right:
Tawnee Rotten– Lead Vocals
Lacey Hole– Synthesizer
Butch– Flugelhorn
Latex Cholera– Drums
Sara Viscous– Bass Guitar


Further, I was convinced they would go platinum with their first album with these titles:

Big Girls Don’t Cry, Bitch
Hanging, Dimpled, Pregnant and Punched
Rohypnol Blues
Mamma, Who’s My Daddy?
Got My Panties ‘Round My Ankles, Pain ‘Round My Heart
Swingin’ From The Ceiling Fan
Cop Behind Us, Act Natural
Do Cats Fit In Tupperware?
Do Your Condoms Lose Their Flavor On The Bedpost Overnight?
The Pope Went Down On Me
Cactus In My Underpants
There’s A Reason Why The Ladies Call You Tiny
Damn, That Needle’s Dull

Screw Ovaltine.
*pop… fizzzzzz*

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