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Makeup Addiction

(Author disclaimer: Men can skip this one, unless you have a desire to understand womens’ addiction to makeup. It can be an eye-opening learning experience not for the faint of heart.)

Makeup goes back to the time of the Egyptians, the Romans, the Vikings…and as little girls, we couldn’t wait until we were allowed to wear that first swipe of tinted lip gloss or light application of blush. But there’s a dark side to makeup that no one talks about: makeup addiction.

Every year we find ourselves buying foundation for summer and winter; concealers; lip glosses in shiny and matte; shadow that shimmer; mascaras that thicken, lengthen, separate; brushes for eyebrows, blush, powder, lips….and before we know it, we have literal drawer full of products that we only use a handful of regularly.

Do I have time to do the “triangle of light” or sugar scrub my lips? Do I need to contour, so I have cheekbones? Lip line outside the line or stay natural? Setting spray? Translucent setting powder? Dear Lord, where’s the brush for the finishing powder – I can’t use my blush brush!! And of course this all comes after you’ve cleansed, exfoliated, DermaFlashed, moisturized, and applied serum…does the makeup balm go on before or after the moisturizer? I need a spreadsheet to follow!!

At times we wonder why do we bother…does it really make a difference? Do women feel better wearing makeup or do we do it out of habit, or because it’s expected? I look better with a little makeup, because I can pass for a cadaver in the dead of winter without any. And don’t get me started on the cost of all this…yes, you can buy cosmetics at CVS or Walgreen’s, but then you have women who worship at the altar of Sephora and Ulta, spending hundreds of dollars, because if I use this blush, I’ll look taller!! I’m kidding, of course. Sort of…

So to any of the men brave enough to read this, consider yourselves lucky… I didn’t ask if these false eyelashes make me look fat.

4 Comments

  1. Psykosity

    It ain’t easy being a girl!
    All I know is: to get Patricia to actually be downstairs so we can leave for where ever we are going ON TIME, I have to give her a few hours, lots of space, and not get too interested in the clanging, crashing, chanting, and the smoke of incense coming from the bathroom door. I am convinced she has a portal to hell open in the linen closet and she is sacrificing several small, furry animals to the gods…
    Another great one, Mod!
    Sometime though, you are going to have to explain to me the whole “Triangle of Light” thingy…well, come to think of it, never mind.
    I wouldn’t understand…

  2. Hanoch

    Lol- You make a great argument to just quit wearing make up all together Mrs Modesty. Coming from a married man, that might seem to simple.

    But I’ll say it again, women are much tougher than men.

    • Modesty Fiona Blaise

      It’s hell, Hanoch…pure hell…
      Funny thing is, the older I get, the less I wear. And now is when I need it the most!!
      Thank you for commenting, it’s always wonderful hearing from you.

  3. George Pal

    Dang! And to think I hate just shaving. I’d make one scruffy puffy splotchy disheveled homely broad – if I ever decided to swing that way.

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