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Finding Mr Darcy Today

Jane Austen had the right idea: have a man fall in love with you, without holding hands or sharing a kiss. Wouldn’t that just be the challenge of all challenges, to have a man declare his love without laying a hand on you?

Now please understand, dear reader, that I am not making a case for toying with a man’s affections. Not really. Maybe a little…anyway, just like the age-old question of can men and women just be friends, can they fall in love without physical contact?

I think it’s possible; I mean, look at the Duggers – those girls were only allowed a quick “side” hug with their beaus before the wedding day. And the boys seem to be fine young men…well, except that one brother, but let’s not get into that…

I believe it is possible…I mean, we hear about people meeting their soulmate on sites like or e-Harmony…and out of all those couples, how many actually make it?

I have no answers, so don’t look at me.

As we look at “what was then,” how does it compare to “now?” Marriages back in the old days were usually ones of advantage, or if it was nobility, to strengthen a family’s bloodline. It’s still done today, or at least back in the 1970’s – I went to high school with a beautiful young lady who had an arranged marriage, and last I heard, they were still together. She met him three times before their wedding date. No, her family didn’t belong to some religious cult; her father was Egyptian, her mother was French, and this is what they decided for her. I guess she could have said no, but who knows what the ramifications would have been?

Anyway, back to Jane… people would make plans to spend a week at someone’s house, usually for a party or some sort of gathering. You attended, you met someone whose background was “appropriate” and exchanged letters….then if all went according to plan, you got married, after seeing each other a few times in the company of others. It was their version of speed dating.

All in all…maybe not such a bad thing? No matter how revealing or hot and heavy the letters were, they still had tons to discover about each other. And the divorce rate was quite low, as it was frowned upon greatly, unless you were a man whose wife cheated openly (except for mistresses of Kings, but that’s another story.)

I would like to hear your thoughts, dear readers…is this something that could work today?


  1. Psykosity

    GREAT article, fantastic, well made points, written in such a way that offers a different taste of your writing! Well done!

    In answer to your question: I believe there is a “right person” for every person that wants that person in their life. I think the trick is to use the time to make yourself worthy of your right person.
    I think that part of the fun of a present is the anticipation of the moment before you open it, and if that is true, then a present that will change your entire life for the better (if the work is put into the relationship) is worth waiting for.

    It worked for me!

  2. Avatar

    Hmmm, I’ll ponder this a bit more. My experience as I matured was that time, conversation, and observation was incredibly revealing. Today?

  3. Avatar
    George Pal

    I like this a lot Mod. A ‘think piece’.
    “What say we talk of men and women and courtship and not let that dog, ‘carnality’ in to muck things up.”
    I am of the belief that cool heads will, near every time, make better decisions than warm bottoms. And that’s the limit of my expertise in the matter.

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