Those Damned KIDS! Every time he thought about them, Harv gave himself another shot of anger adrenalin, making sleep all but impossible. They’d taken his prized jack-o-lantern on the front porch and smashed it all over his favorite welcome mat! The one he’d ordered from Amazon with the nice autumn colors that read, “Door Bell Broken – Yell DING DONG Very Loud!”. Harv wanted to take the old rusty K-Bar combat knife that his dad had given him at age 14, and gut Every Single ONE of them with it!
Thoughts of his late goony granny also ran through his head. As a youngster, Granny used to frighten him with her gruesome tales of Malevoleine, an avenging spirit from the Underworld that often appeared on Halloween and fed itself on thoughts of Anger and Hatred. According to Granny, after feeding itself, Malevoleine would then punish the thinker of evil by torturing him or her to death with its long, tentacle-like fingers tipped with razor-sharp claws. It would then hurl the shriveled corpse into the deepest bowels of Hell, there to rot forever in righteous torment. Harv snorted a quiet chuckle to himself as he imagined Those Damned KIDS getting a visit from Malevoleine!
His wife’s snoring on the other side of the bed wasn’t helping him fall asleep, either. Suddenly, Harv felt a burning line of fire rake across his back as he lay on his side! It was so blindingly PAINFUL that, in his complete shock, Harv couldn’t even utter a small gasp, let alone any other kind of sound. Then, he felt razor-tipped claws ripping into him from several directions. One went into his navel and worked its way deep into his guts, exiting from his lower belly. Another went right up his anal sphincter and out through his back, taking part of his spinal cord with it. A third went straight down his throat, puncturing his lungs, and exited through his crotch area.
By this time, Harv really, really, REALLY would’ve liked very much to scream!! Alas, he was now in no condition to do much of anything else but die!!
His last thought was that a nice blowjob was probably quite out of the question.