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Category: Modesty’s Musings

The Evolution of Toys

With the holidays right around the corner, I’ve been thinking about Christmas past. Back in the dark ages, when I was a kid, toys were much simpler. Rarely were batteries ever needed, all that was required was an imagination. Tiny Tears, Thumbalina, Eazy-Bake Oven, even that stalwart, Barbie, didn’t require anything extra. Chatty Cathy (I still have mine!) was the most high-tech toy around. One year my father bought my sister and I a tank; unusual gift for girls, plus it required batteries, which were a luxury. We had the best time with that thing! But slowly this changed…one day you’re buying Park Place, a few decades later you’re blowing up a planet on a screen. So what does the future hold for toys? Let’s take a look, shall we?

“Uppity Ursula” – she lives on the UES, wears a fur coat over her tennis togs, and has the prerequisite yappy little dog. Ursula comes with three outfits: a St John suit for daytime, a Badgley Mischka gown for the Met Gala, and your choice of a tennis outfit or a Lulu Lemon yoga outfit. Buying this automatically registers you as a Democrat, regardless of your political leanings.

Operation 2.0 – if you are of a certain age, you remember “Operation” where you had to remove organs without setting off the buzzer. In the updated version, you perform a sex change! Available in two versions – M to F and F to M…what a great way to introduce the kids to the wonderful world of transitioning!

Mr Green Jeans – comes with seeds and instructions on how to grow hydroponic hemp. A great way for kids to learn gardening, as well as harvesting and processing their products.

Barbie’s Funeral – a delightful way to teach your children about death and traditions. Comes in a variety of offerings; a casket, urn, or Viking ship. Black armband and tiny lace veil included; mortician makeup kit sold separately. (oh come on, she’s how old? Late 70s? Early 80s? It’s time.)

Chinese checkers – sorry, no longer available. Sanctions in place.

Venezuelan Supermarket Sweep – fun board game where you roll the dice to see how many minutes you have to hunt down items in an almost empty store!

The DNC Little Women Dolls –  AOC, Pressley, Tlaib, and Omar are the new version of the old classic. Learn how to wear a $3,000 designer outfit while preaching socialism, or espouse Islam while cheating on your husband! Great fun for girls of all ages!

Tiny Tots Chemistry Set –  comes with beakers, test tubes, and a full range of chemicals and elements; including plutonium and uranium (what little Hillary Clinton didn’t sell) to make whatever the kids decide to “cook” up. Comes with mini-Hazmat suits and a real Geiger counter!

Make the holidays fun and educational at the same time! Happy shopping!

#Barbie #Hemp #Chemistry #Tanks

 

 

Just Call Me “Zsa Zsa”

Just a “quickie” – something that’s been on my mind lately, and I wanted to find out what you all think. Grandmother. Grandma. Granny. These names used to be among the sweetest a child could say. Some others are Nana, Oma, Baba, MeeMaw, Momo, Bubbie…but now we have “Gigi” and “Mimi.” When did “Grandma” become a dirty word?

Not having children, I’ll never have to worry about what the little tyke will call me. My goddaughter calls me “Aunt Peach” which is fine, because I call her “Plum” (and “Prune” when she’s being a pain.)

Some names are ethnic in origin, like Nana or Oma…but recently I’ve heard some of the strangest names for Grandma…my dental hygienist has her granddaughter call her “Zsa Zsa” This made me laugh, but also I had to ask why? “I didn’t want to be Grandma and so many are using the Mimi name, so I took it a step further.” I couldn’t argue with her, nor would I, since she has the capability of making my cleaning uncomfortable, should she decide to do so.

Sarah Bernhardt, the legendary actress, had her granddaughter call her “Great.” Now, I don’t think many women could get away with that, but is it any different than the granny whose granddaughter calls her “Gaga?” (All I could think of was that meat dress…)

I get it, to a point. Women don’t want to appear older, and many don’t look like they are old enough to have grandchildren…does that mean you shouldn’t embrace being a “Grand?” I can understand wincing at “Granny,” because my mind immediately goes to the Beverly Hillbillies. Personally, I would love to have some toddler screaming, “PEACH!” with joy when he saw me…

Let me know if you have a unique nickname as a grandparent or aunt/uncle….leave a comment!